Resistance to Change?
I periodically work with executive and communication coach, Suzanne Bates of Bates Communications and subscribe to her blog. Her weekly blog post, “Thoughts for Tuesday” struck a cord today.
This week’s “Thoughts for Tuesday” post was about moving and change…. something that most of my clients have done in a big way. Moving from one country to another. I understand. My husband and I have moved many times, both domestically and internationally.
It’s what my mother-in-law (my husband’s mother) calls the “Moving Crazies”.
With every move of many different extended family members, each individual has had to learn new ‘cultures” and communication styles of the regions, new traffic patterns, new foods, find new friends, support systems. And adapt to new schools and work environments.
It’s hard to learn new lifestyle habits. Our brain has its own resistance to change.
Having to learn new communication skills as well as new cultural behaviors can create “Resistance”. Most resist and then tentatively try again. You gain what seems to be an “acceptable” communication style, which works…for a while.
Then you get a new position, a new boss, or new co-workers. There are miscommunications and missed opportunities. You resist and ignore these, thinking that it will be okay. Yet, it’s not. You find more missed opportunities because you are left out of conversations or miss pieces of information.
I have great admiration for those who follow their careers to a totally new country, leaving family and familiar support systems far behind. I’ve done this.
And, as I’ve learned from a many of my clients, co-workers and friends… When misunderstandings happen;
Ask for help. Find out what you do right as well as what’s wrong.
Get advice for one to two actions that you can work to change for 30-60 days.
Daily practice that action. Nothing happens without practice.
Get an “Accountability Partner” to give you honest feedback every week or so.
When you can readily and easily do these actions, choose two more.
Celebrate your successes with a friend, a reward for habituating your new skill. When our success is celebrated with someone else, we are more likely to maintain that skill.
Enjoy and embrace the exhilaration of new learning. Change is worth it.